Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
no, he came in my armpit
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
