I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
