i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
