He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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