ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
as a side note pls kill me
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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