He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize