i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize