This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
