He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
