Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
