Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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