it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
