Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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