I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
