im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
