almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Randomize
