Kiss
Puke
Quick, to the slutcave!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
