we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
