i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
