why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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