While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
