dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
