we're blogging at a bar
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
