so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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