Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
