There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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