All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
