The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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