The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
