Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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