It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
