I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you didnt know i had herpes?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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