I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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