Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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