i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Randomize
