Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
