I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
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