Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
