We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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