It's like a parade of train wrecks.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
