I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
