I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
