haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
