I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize