i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
