do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
