He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
