just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
