I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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