Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
