eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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