I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
