I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
