dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
