my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
