it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
