Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
